“It’s not FAIR!”
I wanted to shout it, but this was my prayer in my head. It was early in my walk with the Lord. I had been betrayed and abandoned by someone I had counted on to be there forever, and my shattered heart was raw and aching. I had gone out for a prayer walk to try to sort things out with the Lord, but I was so angry and hurt that I was having more of a prayer stomp. Even the beauty of the park and the happy songs of the birds around me did nothing to assuage my dark mood.
I continued stomping around the park, Jesus listening while I listed off for Him in a long monologue all the ways that this person’s actions had wronged me. Then my ugly pride reared its head, and I said, “…And You have NO IDEA what this is like for me!”
“Do you really think that I don’t understand betrayal and abandonment?” He gently but firmly asked.
Suddenly, images flooded through my mind – A kiss from one of the people closest to Him to seal His betrayal…Peter’s three denials of Him…Him hanging on a cross with His friends scattered and nowhere to be found in His hour of greatest need.
“Oh, Jesus!” I prayed as I sank to my knees, right there in the middle of the park. “Please forgive me!” I was humbled as I remembered that He experienced every aspect of humanity during His brief life on this planet as a man, and He knew better than I did what the experience I was going through had cost me. He knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of something that was completely unjust in every way – and He died for the sin that had been committed against me, just as He had died for my sin of pride.
I got back up and continued my prayer walk, this time with the two of us talking. He ministered to me and encouraged me. I was able to go home with a whole new perspective (and a much better attitude) about the situation in which I found myself.
I am so grateful that Jesus can handle me at my worst. He meets me with love and with truth right in the middle of my most broken places. I’m also grateful that He truly does understand every situation that I’m in, because He has experienced it. I’m grateful that He is not a distant and uncaring God, but one who knows me, loves me and accepts me just as I am and where I am. What a wonderful God He is!
Do you find yourself today in the middle of hard circumstances? Are you wondering where Jesus is in the middle of it all and how He could possibly redeem your situation? Are you reluctant to share even the messy parts of your life with Him? Friends, He wants to know you and minister to you in the midst of your brokenness and pain. Let the truth of these verses encourage you today:
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
22 Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken. (Psalm 55:22)
7 The Lord said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.” (Exodus 3:7)
7 The Lord is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him. (Nahum 1:6-8)
Jesus sees you. He cares for you. He longs to meet you right where you are. Won’t you meet with Him today?